Fucking coworkers!

So this chick whose name starts with an um I forget a letter or something anyways I call her the Duchy because it's cute so let's go with that. I worked at a Toy Store Unnamed for a while and met this cool chick who played video games. She was into Nintendo and despite kind of hating Nintendo (especially after my ex) I thought she was cute enough to ask out. She was actually really cool too, and she went ahead and gave me her number right? I'm reiterating this point I know but still she deserves to have the whole story told. So first, before asking for her number, we talked about work.
And flirted! At least, what I thought was flirting. I'm pretty sure this was all a clever ploy to call me autistic in the end, as she was clearly flirtatious but the outcome was completely out of left field. Anyways she blushed sometimes and blah blah I can't even remember what she said exactly just that we should play a videogame together. So I asked for her number while eating lunch. Why? Because I knew this was going south.
Anyways um, yeah, we agreed to play Smash Brothers together then later I said nevermind because she had a boyfriend. She was still super nice to me at work. Again, by now I have basically made it more than clear I was after her, not a friend. Mention your boyfriend and get shut down? Gee, seems weird right? Well then she psychicly begged me to talk to her and I did because I still have hope that somewhere out there, there is one human being with as much respect as me. Maybe she was going to leave her boyfriend? Maybe she already did?
Well, nope. She ignored a bunch of my texts because I'm just super uninteresting and lazy, man! All I do is play video games, did you know that? God must love lazy people or something, I don't know man because clearly no woman would want a man who cooks cleans works and teaches. Everybody does that Josh! I'm pretty sure most people can't even do 1/4 of those correctly.
So good on her, good on you Duchy, you did it. You kept your rich boyfriend and fended off the unwitting prophet, clearly he underestimated your deep-seeded love for a wallet. I know nothing of her boyfriend but clearly he's rich because she looks pretty cute and I have yet to see a situation where those two didn't meet, except for once with me. Shit I take that back I guess, still I'm a psychic and intuition tells me her man has his own house and I might as well have not said shit to her.